When you are in turmoil and the soil doesn’t seem like it will ever thaw, the summer seems like it’s destined to run away from you for eternity, and there just doesn’t seem to be any point in trying to move forward I suggest a understanding and trying few things before totally giving up,sleeping on the curbs, and eating beans straight from the can.
This is only one point in time. It will end sooner or later.
Acknowledging that this is only a moment in time and that time always is creeping forward. This can create some solidarity in your progression. When your friends offer the phrase, “This too shall pass.” You may want to push them away for lack of understanding, and also hug them close until that time does pass.
Whether you find yourself in the midst of heartbreak and loss, or job insecurity and financial crisis, you need to keep your head as steady as you can. When you start to abandon ship, everything you have been working on will fall apart too.
Let go of the less important things that are distracting you.
A close friend of mine recently said that life is like a child holding hundreds of thousands of balloons at a time. One balloon says ‘Car Insurance.’ Another one says ‘Staying In Shape.’ Maybe one says ‘Don’t Drain the Liquor Account.’ Certainly you have some similar ones to me. Ones that you can let go. Like ‘Trying To Impress People, Focusing On the Past, Worrying About the Future.’ Find a warm place to live, find a job, pick up the pieces. Let go of things that aren’t immediately pressing. Then when you have those under control focus a little more attention on where you want to be at the end of this.
Dress up really fancy once in a while. For no reason at all.
Finding an outfit that you feel particularly good in can, at least temporarily, leave you feeling like there are no problems worth having. You are on top of the world and the people you interact with will have a different sparkle in their eyes because you have a confident shine in your attitude. Sometimes wearing a tie and a well-fitting button down with a vest can change your attitude (Even if you are still wearing your dirty blue jeans) Give it a chance. You will feel a little better.
Allow yourself the space to breakdown. Not for too long though.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you can let yourself fall apart. Let your life shamble a little. I think it is healthy to feel the vast weight of your problems. You need to know when to stop letting your worries and problems hold you down. Hopefully before your bank account sends you a text message saying, “Your account balance is 10.78. We are sending you this notification because it is below your $50.00 minimum.” Try and avoid that place. If you get there, you will inevitably need to deal with that too.
If you can’t move forward-Seek help. Counselling is not as taboo as you think it is.
You may have found yourself in my position where I run through my life problems with my dearest friends and they openly tell me that maybe I should ‘Talk to someone.’ If they do this with you, it’s not to offend you, it’s to help you. They often know your situation and how much of it they can logically understand.
If you can tell that your friends are starting to be overwhelmed by your dilemmas, you need to know that it is okay to find a counselor or a therapist. Specifically someone who is more capable of running through your thoughts with you and helping you move forward from them. If they aren’t capable, they are at least getting paid to listen to your internal conversation. Get your moneys worth. That’s what they are there for.
Help other people. Volunteer your time. Talk with someone who you can tell is hurting.
Use your new emotional awareness to help some other people out. While you are down in the pit trying to figure things out, learn to be emotionally available to other people who you see falling. You can catch them and help navigate them around the pit you have been living in. Hopefully your experiences may help them find a way out while you find yours. You may understand the geography a little better than them and that can be beneficial for both of you.
You knew this was coming… Be patient.
Patience. Patience. Patience. How many times have you heard this while you have been crumbling to pieces. “Dusty, you just need some Patience.”
My face cringes and my stomach gnarls at the thought of the phrase. I want to scream the same way you picture a football coach yell at the referee. A mouthful of saliva spattering out at every syllable nearly drenching the poor fella,”I am being fucking PATIENT!!”
Unfortunately they are right. You need to focus on what is coming next not what has already happened and what is currently happening. This takes time and truly does take a new level of patience that you will carry with you after this is all over.
Focus your free time on being a better overall person.
Work on being the better version of yourself while you wait for this era to subside. For the sun to come out the other end of Hells-Ass.
Find articles online for ways to move forward. How to communicate better. How to eat healthier. How to take care of your leather boots. What time of year you should plant food in your region. How to play an instrument. Learn to do yoga. Open your mind to things you have thought were ludicrous before your breakdown.
If you are a male sometimes this may come as a shock but reading self-help blogs are actually very beneficial in getting through this. I don’t mean that to seem like all woman are reading the guidance books either. We all could use a little direction.
You will get through this. It’s probably almost over and you don’t know it. Conversely maybe it has just begun. Either way you need to stay focused and don’t lose grip of what is happening around you right now. Good luck!