A letter to a lover. Wherever she may be.

Dear Love,

At the time of me writing this I don’t know when or where we met, but I am absolutely grateful to have you in my life right now. You are one of the most intelligent and beautiful woman I have ever met in my life. I know this right now because I am picky and I won’t date someone just to settle. We made our way into each other’s lives because we are extraordinary people. We also happen to get along absolutely wonderfully at least 90 percent of the time. The other 10 percent keeps things interesting!

I know that you have a past. You are working on being a better person every day and I will support any decision that you make as long as it doesn’t harm you in any way. I want to see you succeed. Even if that means you making more money than me. Seeing more fame than me. I’ve been jealous of those trivial things in the past and I will not allow that to divide us. There is no one in the world I would rather be spending my time with. You are my favorite person on this planet and I have met quite a few people. So I say this with absolute confidence that you are my dearest and favorite.

Somedays are going to be harder than others. Hopefully I have worked out most of my personal problems with self-doubt and anger. I know that you will see me over react. Please don’t walk away when that happens. I am just trying to express something inside of me that is difficult to face. If you give me a little time I will say what I mean clearly. In time I will be better at saying what I mean before an argument arises.

Speaking of arguments. I like that we argue! I don’t like hurting your feelings and I don’t like you hurting mine, but the difference in opinions is something that I admire. Something that actually brings us closer together.  I don’t want to go through life sedentary. ‘Yes Dear. No Dear. Thank you Dear. You’re welcome Dear.’ I want to get fueled by something you said. I want you to open yourself up to something I did. I don’t want us to hide behind barriers of miscommunication. We will learn how to be healthier at it in time. I know that because we are in love with each other. We want to see each other be better as individuals and as communicators. Sometimes we just need some space and to talk later. Hopefully I have learned that by now.

I love the way that you look at me when I am confused. Endearment. I know I will scoff at you when you do that. When in all actuality I adore that expression. I only scoff because I love you recognizing my own confusion and not getting angry at me about it. You have always been so good at that.

Some nights I am going to feel particularly weak. Maybe I had a rough day at work, maybe my emotions are getting the better of me, maybe I am upset I was turned down again for a raise at work, or maybe I don’t know where I will be when I die. Just hold me. I only need your touch and for someone to calm me down. I am a big baby sometimes. Your touch will be the only thing that can console my internal flame. You know how fiery I can be. I promise to thank you a thousand times over. I know it’s hard watching a grown man cry-but I do and I know I always will. I love you and I love that this doesn’t bother you. If it does though, could you please let me know?

I want to take you out on romantic evening walks when times are hard. I never hope that they will be but I know that times will be hard occasionally. The time I spend with you will never be as hard as the rest of the world spinning and the time I spend away from you. We can create a calm haven inside of the chaos on these walks.

I acknowledge that we both have complex pasts. I want to help you through whatever may be hurting you and I promise to hold you when you ask, and need, to be held. I don’t ever want to deny you the benefits of intimacy. Even if I am in disarray and upset I will always hold you close to me. In hard times I will always be there for you in any capacity you will let me. Would you promise to do that same for me? Let’s always love each other. In our highs and particularly in our lows. I will always be here for you if you are always here for me.

The times when we look into each other’s eyes are some of the most important moments in my life. To have someone see right into my soul is such a vulnerable and important feeling. To have someone see into me and accept me is validating as a human. You make me feel as though it is an extraordinary thing to be me. Even the days I would only wish to be someone else. You make me feel lucky to be who I am and who I have grown to be.

Sex. Yes of course I am going to talk about this. Let’s try to be as ravenous and interesting as we can possibly be. Let’s figure out what both of us absolutely love. Explore! I promise that even when I am not in the mood to make sure that I am present and willing to get into the mood for you. I will never use my withholding as a weapon for control as long as you don’t. When life gets too busy and we don’t have time for much else besides getting life done, I promise to sit down with you and organize days so that we can be intimate and get down and dirty. I think it’s important to feed our sexual needs even when we don’t feel we have time to do so. Taking that time out can be a pinnacle in our relationship when life gets hectic.

Most of all I want to always love you with fiery abandon, show you everything that I have to offer, and share this life with you. I may not meet you for another 5, 10, 15, or 20 years but you are my love and my life. I am so grateful that you are here and I cannot wait to meet you.

I love you,

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