Maybe I have been fighting myself this entire time. Just maybe I am getting the better of both worlds. It’s not the I am getting laid by beautiful woman, or anyone for that matter, but it’s the freedom that seemed insignificant while in love and housed with another person.
I never really take the chance to truly recognize what I love about being single and alone. It’s really not as bad as movies and marketing cracks it up to be, most of the time. There is always my longing to see her in the morning and make food for her when I get home. Those things can’t be considered when looking at the really positive aspects of being single.
Parties with strangers
I don’t worry about what I wear to any party. I actually don’t worry about going to the party at all. I’m probably not invited anyways. Decisions about attendance are made the moment they come to my mind. If I want to ditch out, read a book, order a pizza and watch a rom-com… Well, It’s a date! I can do that for 7 straight days, until I decide to look myself in the mirror and realize there has been sauce on my face the entire time and I really need to take a shower.
All of the hobbies
I am learning that I love to do simple things that someone might get annoyed with. I love to clean the kitchen only to turn around and completely destroy it making pizza from scratch a few nights a week. I can wake up at any hour and turn the light on in my room and watch funny cat/dog videos until I am able to fall back asleep. If I want to learn how to widdle and teach myself guitar I have no one saying “It looks’s great” (That looks literally looks like a wooden turd) “You are starting to sound better.” (You are the reason people quit playing guitar) But now I can be as annoying at my hobbies and not feel like I am interrupting someone else’s day.
To do laundry or to stay in pajamas, that is the question.
Laundry is done when I want it to be done. I don’t have anyone asking, “You stayed home all day and didn’t even do the laundry.” Damn right! I actually hardly own any clothes. I wear most of them twice. Partially because I am a bit of a slob but ecologically I don’t feel bad when I wear my metal band shirts twice. I don’t know many metal heads who don’t wear their clothes more than once. (As long as they don’t smell like the anus of an infant who just ate Mexican food for the first time.)
Getting sloppy drunk.
This is both negative and a positive. I am capable of drinking a liter of whiskey in a nights sitting. It’s certainly not bragging and definitely not a cry for help, I can just do that sometimes. If I get shitty drunk I can just sit and sob on the kitchen floor waiting for my pizza to get done cooking. No one will say, “This is what happens every time you drink.” and sarcastically say, “Why don’t you have another one then…” – Why yes I will and I’ll grab two! Would you like one?
Reading anything at all
Reading is a completely new experience. It is uninterrupted and un-judged. I am able to pick up any strange book that I want and not have to hide it. If I want to read 50 Shades of Gray, fuck it, I will. I’ll do it right in the living room. Maybe all in one sitting. I’ll enjoy a cup of coffee And a beer at the same time. I don’t have anything more pressing to do than to breathe and be alive.
Now there are a thousand down sides to being single too. Like having to put yourself out there and really work to find someone who you might actually enjoy spending time with. If you are a 5’9, gap toothed, balding red-head you will have a lot of work ahead of you. Your game needs to be dialed and you have to have an amazing sense of humor. Which is a lot of hassle for such a person. I’ll could be okay being alone for the rest of my life. I am not going to kill myself trying to find another potential partner any time soon. I am just starting to enjoy these little freedoms.
I read an article recently that the likelihood of finding another match by happenstance is practically impossible. The statistics are quite daunting Right Here. On any given night I have a 0.0000034% chance of meeting someone I May love. How does that pizza and beer at home sound now?
Do not misinterpret that though, if the woman I love would take me back, I would drop all of these little benefits. But for now, this isn’t going so bad. Days will get dark again. Maybe it’s the holiday season, but I am starting to feel hopeful for about 15 minutes every day and enjoy these pieces of time I have with myself. I’m turning up that jazz and dancing in my socks with wild abandon.
(Image Credit)”Starry Night” by Vincent Van Gogh