90 days of full time RV living. 90 days without a drink.

In the Alcoholics Anonymous community I am going through the supposed most difficult period of AA sobriety. 90 days. 3 months. 28 days. A fuck load of hours and minutes that, at times, seemed impossible to pass with a pulse. I wish I had known a little more about this stage of the process before…

We are home.

I’ve been looking for that place people call home for as long as I can remember. I’ve always dreamt of being comfortable in one place. I’ve moved around my entire childhood from one school, city, and state to another. I always thought I would end up somewhere and have an ‘Aha’ moment and know that…

Am I running or am I searching?

We are all searching or hiding. It’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between the two. I’m not sure that I know for myself. I would like to think that I am searching, but inevitably time will tell me where I stand. There is one thing, well, one person I am searching for. I know…

“You deserve better,” Was a phrase I didn’t believe. Was.

For a period of my life I was engaged to the most wonderful woman I had ever met. The name she went by induced laughter and positivity. Her smile brought the most stone-cold-hearted human to life. The best gift-giver in the entire world. A woman I wanted to spend my life with. That certainly could…

Letting yourself love.

When it comes to love and relationships I have never been terribly great at communicating or being tender. Once in a while I can surprise myself, but not too often. Recently I have been living off of my own surprises everyday. I’ve been fighting, kicking, screaming, soothing, listening, and flying all over the place to try…

Part Two: A blissfully intoxicating transcontinental train ride.

To read this you must read Part One of this blog. This is a fearful venture to write down experiences nearly moments after they have happened. The clarity of those moments become jumbled in the lucidity of being present in the adventure. I’ll do my damn best to tell you how I felt, as I…

A blissfully intoxicating transcontinental train ride.

I spent a week going through the good moments and bad decision that I’ve made in my life. Brushing through my blurred and booze addled memories with a fine tooth comb. I was trying to find reasons and signs to stop me. To keep me from making my 4th lifestyle overhaul  in 6 months. I started…

Love, heartbreak, travel, and the hunt for a dream.

The late night calls, the early morning text messages, and the intermittent letters. All of these are reminders from a love I once had. From the person who expected me to become something great. Someone who genuinely sees my potential and who I will one day become. I start to feel the increased heart rate from an…

Fortune and Mistakes over 8 years of complete confusion.

I made it here. Where I am right now. A place a never expected to be and to be existing. I was positive at a young age that my life would be exhausted by the age of 18. I decidedly never made any plans to be walking this earth beyond that age. No plans. I had…

The freedom and fear of unrestrained daydreaming.

I have procrastinated and daydreamed my entire life and it gets exhausting. Not in the way that it may make you weary and tired, but more along the lines of, “Where and when do I start making moves towards the life I want to lead. This is starting to feel like a mental endurance taste.” It’s…